I Once Deamt

I once dreamt I was warm. I woke ’midst my hot blood.

I once dreamt I was loved. I woke to taste’s teeth’s tug.

I once dreamt I was free. I woke falling from trucks.

I once dreamt I ate well. I woke, found friends in feed.

I once dreamt I’d lived long. I woke to days turned decades.

I once dreamt I’d born children. I woke in prolapse pain.

I once dreamt I had mothered. I woke ’pon broke thumped babes.

I once dreamt I would father. I woke when raped for sperm.

I once dreamt I knew kindness. I woke at freedom’s fence.

I once dreamt I could stand. I woke to feel a forklift.

I once dreamt I could walk. I woke ’tween tractor teeth.

I once dreamt I was healthy. I woke ’cause drugs d’layed death.

I once dreamt I breathed easy. I woke to throat torn two.

I once dreamt I knew grass. I woke laid in a grave.

I once dreamt I knew sunshine. I woke to kill-floor white.

I once dreamt I knew sky. I woke ’neath Nazi smoke.

I once dreamt I’d a partner. I woke when touch tore rough.

I once dreamt I was clean. I woke boiling but breathing.

I once dreamt I’s remembered. I woke hiding but found.

I once dreamt I had mattered. I woke breast burned a number.

I once dreamt I’s important. I woke to cries of “cunt!”

I once dreamt I’d a life. I woke and knew still dreaming.

I once dreamt I’d imagined. I woke in blood-loss shock.

I once dreamt I was named. I woke to be called “Cull.”

I once dreamt I was happy. I woke to feel my dying.

I once dreamt I’d died finally. I woke when bar hit brain.

I once dreamt it had ended. And…then…I was right.

I’d found mercy.