We've Talked to You
We’ve talked to all of you.
addicts
Alaskans
already-knowers
anarchists
ancestors
animal whisperers
apathists
athletes
backyard-henners
Bible beaters
bigger-problem havers
blood-typers
body builders
busy people
butchers
“cage free” buyers
can’t-watchers
carnivores
cat eaters
cat obsessors
cavemen
“certified sustainable” buyers
cheese-aholics
chefs
child rearers
child shelterers
Christians
circle-of-lifers
Creationists
cry-me-a-rivers
conscious consumers
culture lovers
death lovers
desert islanders
doctors
dog eaters
dog obsessors
don’t-wanna-seers
environmentalists
everything-diesers
evolved people
ex-activists
ex-vegans
factory-farm workers
family supporters
farmers
fish-don’t-feel-painers
fishers
flat-Earthers
flexitarians
food-chain toppers
food-stampers
foreigners
“free range” buyers
get-a-jobbers
get-a-lifers
gonna-die-somedayers
gotta-eat-somethingers
habit clingers
harassers
halal enthusiasts
health obsessors
hecklers
humane killers
humanists
hunters
ignoramuses
Inuit
Jews
keto dieters
kill-’em-fasters
kill-’em-gentliers
kill-or-be-killeders
lazy people
lions
locals
local farmers
meal preppers
meat eaters
meat-only dieters
Muslims
Native Americans
never-changers
nihilists
not-in-my-countriers
nutritionists
offense takers
omnivores
old people
“organic” buyers
“pasture raised” buyers
penny pinchers
personal choosers
pescatarians
pet lovers
pet rescuers
plane-crash survivors
plants-rights activists
police
power lovers
pregnant mothers
probationers
pro-lifers
restaurant workers
sacrifice respecters
science deniers
security guards
selfish people
sharks
sick people
skeptics
slaughterhouse workers
small-scale farmers
soldiers
speciesists
spirit-animal havers
“starving kids” worriers
survivors and the fittest
the brainwashed
the health-disordered
the homeless
the peer pressured
the “well aware”
they’re-just-animalers
third-world-countriers
traditionalists
what-about-catsers
wolves
“worse than this” seers
vegan apologists
vegetarians
youths
And we’ll talk to you again.
We all will be vegan someday.